I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
sex in a hospital.. check
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
