I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
