did you get engaged???
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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