i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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