Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
