Betty ford says i'm here all night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
