So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
