I just made out with a guy for $7.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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