He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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