woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sext me about skeletons
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
