She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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