Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
