You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
