I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
