Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
