Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
