Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
