Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
