There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
