I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize