everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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