And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i have two assholes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize