Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
