5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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