handjob tips. give me some.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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