She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
