it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
