I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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