The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
