I think I died a long time ago.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.