To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
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totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.