Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

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  (601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id
  Replies (39) Good night (15470) Bad night (768)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.

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  (330): He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours. http://tfl.nu/wqf0
  Replies (15) Good night (2907) Bad night (939)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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  (303): She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it. http://tfl.nu/nwdc
  Replies (6) Good night (2837) Bad night (844)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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  (940): He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter. http://tfl.nu/rjmj
  Replies (10) Good night (4353) Bad night (1102)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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  (208): I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work http://tfl.nu/ffxc
  Replies (20) Good night (1768) Bad night (3137)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa

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  (706): It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa http://tfl.nu/ahu3
  Replies (7) Good night (2150) Bad night (1120)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed

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  (210): BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/opf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1501) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?

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  (574): should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band? (1-574): meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis? http://tfl.nu/hzbs
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

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  (423): take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/qdcc
  Replies (20) Good night (2181) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.

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  (715): Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure. http://tfl.nu/2y1s
  Replies (5) Good night (2059) Bad night (472)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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  (817): And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?" http://tfl.nu/ufhu
  Replies (5) Good night (1085) Bad night (313)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..

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  (727): There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you.. http://tfl.nu/y77w
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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  (570): Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing http://tfl.nu/4996
  Replies (5) Good night (293) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.

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  (231): She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis. http://tfl.nu/zwdy
  Replies (7) Good night (323) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors

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  (250): Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors http://tfl.nu/eym3
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (230)

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