Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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