Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.