i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he thought i was a dude.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10