I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
