so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
