you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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