I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
worst night to have a conscience
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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