Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
