I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
