I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
