I just made out with a guy for $7.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
