this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
