fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
