I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
