Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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