Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize