oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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