I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize