What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
