At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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