can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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