I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Enjoy the penises
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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