I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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