why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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