So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
