apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My balls are so social today.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
