I will die if light touches me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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