I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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