I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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