My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
