Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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