Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
