Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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