So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
