Your tits are I can't wait for
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
