Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
