i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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