and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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