Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
