The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
